Friday, August 12, 2005

10 WORST Popular Films of All Time

By Reymundo Salao

While I'm having a sabbatical from making film reviews, may I just share to you something, well, fun to discuss about. In this edition of my column, let me just share to you some of my personal choices of the WORST popular/successful movies, the BEST underrated (or box-office failure/forgotten) movies, and the movies that are considered hard-to-find, and even CANNOT be found on home video anymore.

WORST POPULAR FILMS (In no particular order)

1. M:I2 (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2) - Back when the original MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE was created by Bruce Geller and was made into a prominent TV series during the 60's (which starred Leonard Nimoy, among other actors) and was re-hashed during the 90's, the idea for it was to make a series that really depicted actual operations of the CIA and other spy networks. Whenever the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE team would get into a mission, they would infiltrate their targets by means of great gadgetry, careful manipulation, disguised spies, and meticulous planning, then would they fulfill their missions with precision to a point that by the time they walk away, it was as if they would have left without any trace, but their damage has already been done. This was their skill; get in unnoticed, do the damage, then get out unnoticed. If there were some action, it would probably be due to the group's skill in manipulation that they lead their enemies to kill off each other. It was realistically close to what REAL spies do. The series is mostly thriller and suspense, and not much of gunfire action. BUT when M:I2 was made, it already had DESTROYED what the original MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE series stood for. It altered the format, by making a pathetic attempt to make it an "american James Bond". It wasn't also a "team" storyline anymore, it was all about the character played by Tom Cruise. Well, he's the producer of the film, no wonder he's ruined a great saga by desperately pigging the spotlight unto himself, not to mention he hires the director that makes any character look cool: John Woo.

2. PEARL HARBOR - This Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay film is a mockery to the events that transpired during the Second World War. Instead of having the chance to focus the storyline into why Pearl Harbor was bombed or how did the second World War in the Pacific really began, the already-filthy-rich production takes the spotlight into some pathetic love story instead, and also a one-sided point-of-view in its insights about the war.

3. STARSHIP TROOPERS - Oh this movie would have been a great film that reflects aspects of the game Starcraft. But this sci-fi war movie directed by the supposedly-respectable Paul Verhoeven goes annoyingly imbalanced when we realize that half of the film is really a teen-flick heavy on peer-pressure drama and love triangles. Mix it with the concept of war-against-giant-alien-bugs and it goes terribly uneven. You don't mix sardines with watermelon, do you?

4. BATMAN FOREVER - So the producers thought that they wanted to make the Batman franchise more kid-friendly, so they hired Joel Schumacher, who turned the Batman concept from gothic to idiotic. Schumacher's ultra-colorful MTV nightmare treatment on this Bat sequel was just too silly that it got old too fast. Too many cheesy lines in this movie and too many corny plot holes. It's like getting a hairstylist to do surgery.

5. BATMAN & ROBIN - Schumacher continues to push the envelope of silliness for the Batman franchise and turns the series from idiotic to outright queer. This time, he gets Batman & Robin into silvery costumes that had nipples. Considered by many as the worst movie ever made, this Batman movie took Batman to the grave as the franchise DIED. Good thing the Batman concept was resurrected nearly a decade later with Chris Nolan & Christian Bale (along with a respectable cast & crew) for a Batman restart to make it all right this time.

6. CHARLIE'S ANGELS (1 & 2) - I've seen movies without plots and without sense. Many of them are really good; many of them are B-movies with unknown actors & actresses who cannot act, many of them have really poor budgets. But if you've got the great cast and the massive budget, and you're consciously making a popcorn movie, and you don't inject something, even a wee-bit interesting and/or original, then it must be like this movie.

7. TITANIC - Just like "Pearl Harbor" a mockery to true-to-life events. This film should have been entitled "Jack & Rose" instead. The Academy Awards people have a poor taste in selecting this for the Best Picture Award.

8. STREETFIGHTER - This is one of the best examples of imbalanced adaptation. Take the ultra-surreal concept of the original Streetfighter game, translate it into film with the setting of a realistic environment that seems to be a replicate of the real circa 70's Vietnam, cram in the surreal characters of the game AND their surreal costumes, and give it a really bad dialogue the kind you find in Cindy Rothrock movies. Too bad this had to be Raul Julia's last movie (what a waste).

9. CATWOMAN - Destined to be a BAD movie even before it was released, this adaptation was needless and was not even based on the character that is on the DC Comics. Bad storyline, bad script, bad directing. This is the bad karma for Halle Berry's complaining that she didn't have enough spotlight in her role as Storm in the X-men movie.

10. PLANET OF THE APES (The Remake / Tim Burton Version) - The ORIGINAL PLANET OF THE APES was a GREAT movie that was an instant classic in the sci-fi genre. It had a sense of mystery, and was a prolifically philosophical in its view of evolution and man's psyche. It was too bad that Burton had to ruin the good name of the original by making a totally cartoonish, senseless, and boring movie. It lacked the smart storyline of the original; all it did was parade lavish costumes and sets. Too bad for Burton, nobody's perfect.

Among my personal hate list, or the films that I despise for no good reason at all, include "The Fast & the Furious", "Top Gun", and Moulin Rouge. (TO BE CONTINUED with The Best Underrated Films)

i dont know if its robocop queered, or power rangers on a gay pride parade

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