Friday, April 13, 2012


BATTLESHIP: Hilariously Stupid & Excruciatingly Corny
by Reymundo Salao

I have two descriptions for this movie; it feels like either or both; (A) a really bad tagalog movie; or (B) a cartoon for children with undeveloped minds. The stupidity amused me for a while, but when I realize that I actually wasted money on this awful movie, it just got purely depressing.

BATTLESHIP is actually a movie based on the naval war strategy board game. Many were surprised that the movie version of this game suddenly looks like an alien invasion action movie. It can be easily assumed that the producers of this piece of crap wanted to market a movie utilizing the same appeal the Transformers movies have; make it flashy and stupid. Sadly, it has become a winning formula these days. While this movie is also designed to entice viewers to be interested in the Battleship game once again; what it actually did was it just made me lose interest in it.

I thought Transformers 2 and 3 were the two dumbest big movies I’ve ever seen. I was not too surprised that BATTLESHIP was dumber. Peter Berg has a decent filmography; he did Friday Night Lights, Hancock, The Rundown, and The Kingdom. What the f%ck happened to him on this movie?! Did he just turn idiotic overnight? In this new movie, Berg seemed like he was channeling Michael Bay’s style. In fact, the entire movie felt like a Michael Bay movie; the really poor character development, the lousy dialogues, the awfully corny dramatic elements, the flashy but unoriginal visuals; and the inappropriate and insulting jokes. Idiots would really love it.[MORE AFTER THE JUMP]